juz got home from amk polyclinic... had lunch at breeks wif mom and sis... hah... mi advertising for breeks... yeh... getting my visa mini at the end of da mth... =) actually meeting teresa and her daughter today... but i really very tired le... weak lah mi... work 2 days only got backaches... argh... what to do? last night didnt really slept well... thought abt alot of things on my bed... sometimes when i look or hear from other people, i tends to think abt myself in d past... yah... and i really regreatted doing alot of things... hmmm... there's nothing i can do now also anyway... so juz leave it behind... i dont blame it on my life, or god for giving mi such a miserable life... like wat i heard from a sister from marymount church, she told mi that there arent mistakes in life... there are only lessons to be learnt... well... now that i hav really learnt my lessons, so what? there's no turning back... only calista made mi feel like living... sometimes i really feel so helpless... i often cry... alone... i juz didnt want people to look at the pathetic side of mi... i dont want people to pity mi... that's y i will share my unhappiness wif no one... not even dad and mom, coz i had already upset thim enough... i dont wanna make them worry abt mi anymore... i want them to feel that i'm doing fine to them... everytime i look at calista, i juz smile... nv regretted havin' her... anyway, i was in a mess at that time... i didnt noe wat to do oso... and the time was so short... it wasnt possibily enough for mi to think toroughly... so... i juz did it... and i didnt regret... not at all... i hav saved her... and i will protect her as long as that i'm around... yah... fellings cant be written to words... so that's all i can say... mucks to all... i love u...